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‘I am so sorry about your relationship with your father, I am sorry about the way his and your Mother’s relationship turned out. Justine, I am so sorry for the past awful relationships you’ve had leading up to right now, and most of all, I am sorry for my hand in that awfulness …’ ‘Malichai … please let go …’ I could not take this … this … love. ‘I can’t Justine …’ He said pulling me into his lap. As he wrapped his arms around my stiff frame I could not help but to look into his eyes happy to drown within their sapphire depths. ‘I am sorry, Justine, forgive me, forgive me, and then marry me …’ And there it was again. The proposal I had so long coveted jealously when seeing a newly wed couple exiting a church. Hell, I couldn’t even watch television commercials for jewelers advertising engagement bands without spiraling into a full nasty funk wondering ‘where’s my ring, where’s my man?’ And now here I satin Malichai’s lap in front of his offer of, everything, and I falter? In his eyes. "But she's a great cook and really good with the kids."An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you."The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."Two reasons why it's so hard to solve a redneck murder:1. The DNA all matches.2. There are no dental records.A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?"The agent replies, "Just a minute." Thank you!" the blonde says, and hangs up.Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez."How was he killed?" asked one detective."With a golf gun," the other detective replied."A golf gun! What is a golf gun?" I don't know. But it sure made a hole in Juan."Moe: 'My wife got me to believe in religion.'Joe: 'Really?'Moe: 'Yeah. Until I married her I didn't.
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